Anonymous asked: Hey, I'm in therapy for depression and anxiety, yet I feel as though I have been misdiagnosed or something. Every single thing I read about BPD hits so close to home, it's terrifying. I want to bring it up with my doctor, but I'm frightened that he'll think I'm attention-seeking or something. Plus I heard that you aren't usually diagnosed until you're at least 18, and I'm 17. I really don't know what to do - do you have any advice? I admire you so much xx

Im so sorry if you asked this ages ago, i have completely restricted use of my phone.
I was actually diagnosed at 17 with BPD so it is possible. Talk to your doctor, thats what they are there for. Its better to just talk about something thats bugging you. If they agree then great you are right but if they dont well at least youve got it out and spoke about your concerns. Theres really no bad thing that can come out of asking is what im trying to say.
Good luck xx

5.16.12.

0

Well hello, long time no see. Basically ive been in the locked unit, IPCU and this is the first time ive been out in 3 months. Im on a 3 hour pass and then have to go back to the prison that is the psychiatric ward. Im still sectioned, its just been extended for another six months and im a specified person which means im not allowed my mobile or go on the internet. Naturally the fix thing i done when i left tonight was find my phone and go on facebook. I want you all to know i havent given up on this blog and i havent forgot about all of you. I give you my word that when i do have my phone ill post but its not going to be as regular. Things have been pretty awful since my last post but now isnt the time to write about it. For tonight im going to have as many cups of coffee i want and have a cigarette WHILE watching tv, instead of freezing outside. If anyone wants to ask me anything about my absence my ask box is always open. Love Rach xx

5.16.12.

2

Soo i wanted to make the nurses know how serious i am about how im feeling. So i said to one of them i have a rope hanging from a tree. One of the male nurse said to me ive got a desicion for you to make. Either tell me where it is or your going on constant. I said well that will ruin my plans if i tell you. He said it doesnt matter cause i wont get out cause ill be on constant. I said ill wait till i get off it then do it. He marched me to the office and started trying to find out if there was beds in IPCU. After another ten minutes they said right IPCU. I said for fuck sake its at the coffee cabin. So he fucked off to go get it.

Now im on a constant, which is total bullshite since that wasnt part of the deal. So yeah now i have none of my belongings and only allowed my phone till 12. What a shower of arseholes!

3.07.12.

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todaywegiveourselvestothefire asked: Hey Rach, I've followed you since I very first tumbled (I think you were like my 2nd follower) and you sound so much healthier and more stable now. I think if you can you should try to find strength in that and wait for the funding decision; that way you don't mess up potentially more help and even better health. If you appeal and leave now, can you still get the funding you're waiting to hear on? Because people setting fire to themselves doesn't sound too helpful either. <3

I cant believe i was your second follow! Aww thank you so much!

I dont know what would happen if i appealed and got out then got the funding. Thats a very good question actually! Ill need to find out!

How are u?

3.07.12.

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I just left the ward about 45 minutes ago, im back now right enough. I knew there was a rope swing hanging from a tree so i pulled it appart and made a noose from it. I had it round my neck for a while and i couldnt breathe. But the bugger about being six foot is you need at least 7ft to make sure. So i needed to make it higher and have a chair or something. I couldnt find anything to stand on so i went back to the ward. Ive decided if i still feel as bad tomorrow ill find some bricks to use to stand on then kick them over. The funny thing is none of the nurses knew i was gone.

3.07.12.

0

endlessconflict:

rachythelion:

endlessconflict:

rachythelion:

And there we go again. Someone just set them selves on fire and i had to scream to get the nurses. I actually didnt need to see that right at this minute.

I think it’s time for you to go home. x

You think i should appeal my section then?

Yes.

Thank you x

3.07.12.

4

orchestratedmess-deactivated201 asked: if you feel like you can wait a couple of weeks until you'll know about the funding then maybe wait and then if things dont go the way you need them to go, appeal and get out of there. it sounds to me like you hate being there, that they're mostly awful to you and you're bored of your mind, that's no way to get better and you need to be comfortable and as happy as possible with your situation. i wish i knew how to help more but i havent been in your position... :(

Thank you. I hate that im actually no further foward. I feel like shit.

3.07.12.

0

orchestratedmess-deactivated201 asked: i'm so sorry they've kept you there so long, that's awful. i can only imagine how you feel and how much you miss everything and also how scared you are of everything you've been deprived of. i'd say that, although you're scared, appealing would be a good idea, if you're constantly uncomfortable and pretty much left with you and your mind, then you arent going to get better. it'll be scary when you get to leave, but it'll be worth it and you can start making real progress. hope this helped <3

I know ive just been left myself right now cause this hospital cant help me. Thats why ive to go to the private hospital. Things will be a lot different there. But i may not get funding. What if i leave before i know whats happening with funding? What if the private hospital is as bad as here or worse?

3.07.12.

0

endlessconflict:

rachythelion:

And there we go again. Someone just set them selves on fire and i had to scream to get the nurses. I actually didnt need to see that right at this minute.

I think it’s time for you to go home. x

You think i should appeal my section then?

3.07.12.

4

And there we go again. Someone just set them selves on fire and i had to scream to get the nurses. I actually didnt need to see that right at this minute.

3.07.12.

4